Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

I arrive in Oklahoma City at 1:00 a.m. I’m beyond exhaustion and can’t find a hotel room. There’s a coaches conference. There must be 20,000 coaches, every public school’s head coaches, assistant coaches, special coaches, coaches for baseball, basketball, cross country, football, soccer, swimming, tennis, track, volleyball and wrestling, middle school, high school, community college, university.

Next morning I go to nearby Denny’s for breakfast. They could have been holding the conference there. You can’t miss them. Stout shoulders, military haircut, developing pouches, school colors, enormously muscled calves, loud voices and lots of eggs. Most have had broken noses, sport a facial scar, and throb their jaws like John McCain.

On the return trip, I stop in Oklahoma City again. There isn’t anywhere else to stop. Again, I search for a room. A police conference and a horse convention are in town. In Denny’s, they all look like coaches. Except the horsemen wear spurs on their boots to keep people waiting in line behind them from standing too close.

As I travel, I realize that I’ve watched too much of Jeopardy, Password, Wheel of Fortune & other game shows. I’m full of esoteric knowledge. It’s as if my life has been a pursuit of trivia. But I figure it will come in handy someday. When St. Pete meets me at the Gate & tells me I have good references but must pass a quiz to get in, I’ll be ready. Who Invented the Cotton Gin? George Washington Carver is most famous for which invention? How many times a month does a snake crawl out of its skin? I’ll know the answers.